Rating:  ☆☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:  Frank and Lisanne

Author:   Julie Yip-Williams

Genre:   Non Fiction, Memoir, Health

315 pages, published January 8, 2019

Reading Format:  Audio Book on Overdrive

Summary

In her late 30’s, young mother and accomplished attorney Julie Yip Williams receives a terminal diagnosis of colon cancer.  In a very personal blog, she chronicled her story.  She wrote about her early childhood in Vietnam where her grandmother wanted her euthanized because she was born legally blind, her emigration to the United States where her sight was restored, her time at Williams and Harvard Law School and her incredible love for her husband and two girls.  She also writes about forgiveness and the importance of living life to the fullest while learning to accept death.

Quotes 

“Walk through the fire and you will emerge on the other end, whole and stronger. I promise. You will ultimately find truth and beauty and wisdom and peace. You will understand that nothing lasts forever, not pain, or joy. You will understand that joy cannot exist without sadness. Relief cannot exist without pain. Compassion cannot exist without cruelty. Courage cannot exist without fear. Hope cannot exist without despair. Wisdom cannot exist without suffering. Gratitude cannot exist without deprivation. Paradoxes abound in this life. Living is an exercise in navigating within them.”

 

“Live while you’re living, friends.”

 

“Believe what you need to believe in order to find comfort and peace with the inevitable fate that is common to every living thing on this planet. Death awaits us all; one can choose to run in fear from it or one can face it head-on with thoughtfulness, and from that thoughtfulness peace and serenity.”

 

“I think God is beyond what my little, limited, human brain can fathom. But, perhaps, something my limitless soul can just being to grasp in my moments of utmost clarity.”

 

“Dying has taught me a great deal about living—about facing hard truths consciously, about embracing the suffering as well as the joy.”

 

“Live a life worth living. Live thoroughly and completely, thoughtfully, gratefully, courageously, and wisely. Live!”

 

“Life is not fair. You would be foolish to expect fairness, at least when it comes to matters of life and death, matters outside the scope of the law, matters that cannot be engineered or manipulated by human effort, matters that are distinctly the domain of God or luck or fate or some other unknowable, incomprehensible force.”

 

“It is in the acceptance of truth that real wisdom and peace come. It is in the acceptance of truth that real living begins. Conversely, avoidance of truth is the denial of life.”

 

“The worth of a person’s life lies not in the number of years lived; rather it rests on how well that person has absorbed the lessons of that life, how well that person has come to understand and distill the multiple, messy aspects of the human experience.”

 

“Well, I’m here to play the game, and I choose not to live or die by what the odds-makers say. I choose not to put faith in percentages that were assembled by some anonymous researcher looking at a bunch of impersonal data points. Instead, I choose to put faith in me, in my body, mind, and spirit. In those parts of me that are already so practiced in the art of defying the odds.”

 

“For me, raging and raging like a wild, irrational beast, denying one’s own mortality, clinging to delusion and false hopes, pursuing treatment at the cost of living in the moment, sacrificing one’s quality of life for the sake of quantity, none of this is graceful or dignified, and all of it denies us our contemplative and evolved humanity; such acts do not cultivate an invincible spirit; such acts are not testaments to inner strength and fortitude. For me, true inner strength lies in facing death with serenity, in recognizing that death is not the enemy but simply an inevitable part of life.”

 

“I believe, as I have always believed, that in honesty — a brutal yet kind and thoughtful honesty — we ultimately find not vulnerability, shame, and disgrace, but liberation, healing, and wholeness.”

 

“So much of life’s hardship becomes more bearable when you are able to build and lean on a network of loyalty, support, and love, and gather around you people…who will stand by you and help you. But the thing is you have to let them in; you have to let them see the heartache, pain, and vulnerability, and not cloak those things in a shameful darkness,

and then you have to let those people who care about you help you.”

 

“These are the times in life when we feel almost more than we are capable of feeling. These are the moments when—paradoxically, as we are closest to death—we are most painfully and vividly alive.”

 

“Similarly, there comes a time when one must recognize the futility of continuing the personal physical fight against cancer, when chemo is no longer a desirable option, when one should begin the process of saying goodbye and understand that death is not the enemy, but merely the next part of life. Determining that time is a deliberation that each of us must make with her own heart and soul. This is what Kathryn has done; she respects the force of nature acting on her body and has no delusions about somehow still overcoming; she made the cogent decision to evacuate ahead of the hurricane. To me, she has won her war against cancer so valiantly fought in the nonphysical realm.”

My Take

I was really moved by this beautifully written book.  Julie Yip Williams writes with such authenticity, love, and compassion about facing her own death with dignity, courage and acceptance.  She also is such a strong advocate for living your life to the fullest, taking risks, not being ruled by fear, and loving with the fullest heart your can.  Sage advice well taken.