7. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Rating: ☆☆☆☆
Recommended by: Angela Toppel
Author: Stephen Covey
Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Improvement
Info: 380 pages, published August 15, 1989
Reading Format: Audio Book
Summary
Steven Covey has devised a list of seven habits that will transform your life:
Habit 1
Be Proactive. This means taking responsibility for your life. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. One of the most important things you choose is what you say.
Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language–I can, I will, I prefer, etc. Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas–Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence.
They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern–things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.
Habit 2
Begin with the End in Mind. Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint.
If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.
One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world.
Habit 3
Put First Things First. To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There’s no need to overextend yourself. All it takes is realizing that it’s all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities. Habit 3 is where Habits 1 and 2 come together.
It deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But that’s not all it’s about. Habit 3 is about life management as well–your purpose, values, roles, and priorities. First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth. If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities you established in Habit 2.
Habit 4
Think Win/Win. Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying.
A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits: Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments, Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others and an Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone.
Habit 5
Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. If you’re like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely.
Habit 6
Synergize. Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems. But it doesn’t just happen on its own. It’s a process, and through that process, people bring all their personal experience and expertise to the table.
Together, they can produce far better results that they could individually.
Habit 7
Sharpen the Saw. Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of activities:
Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting, Social/Emotional: Making social and meaningful connections with others, Mental: Learning, reading, writing, and teaching, Spiritual: Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or service. As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish.
Quotes
“Start with the end in mind.”
“But how do you love when you don’t love?”
“If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself.”
“There’s no better way to inform and expand you mind on a regular basis than to get into the habit of reading good literature.”
“Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.”
“Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do).”
“The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person.”
“My friend , love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”
“When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.”
“But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise.”
“Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.”
My Take
This book has had a huge impact on the world and after reading it, I can see why. If you follow Covey’s seven habits, buttressed by numerous examples in the book, you will see substantial improvement in your life. Well worth a read.
