186. Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In
Rating: ☆☆☆☆
Recommended by:
Author: Roger Fisher, William Ury, Bruce Patton
Genre: Non-Fiction, Psychology, Business, Self-Improvement
200 pages, published December 1, 1991
Reading Format: Book
Summary
Getting to Yes is all about negotiation and how to improve your negotiating skills. The book is based on the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project, a group that deals with all levels of negotiation and conflict resolution. Getting to Yes details a step-by-step approach for coming to mutually acceptable agreements in every sort of conflict. The authors describe a method of negotiation that isolates problems, focuses on interests, creates new options, and uses objective criteria to help two parties reach an agreement.
Quotes
“Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria: It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient. And it should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties.”
“THE METHOD 2. Separate the People from the Problem 3. Focus on Interests, Not Positions 4. Invent Options for Mutual Gain 5. Insist on Using Objective Criteria.”
“People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that those who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. So if you want the other side to appreciate your interests, begin by demonstrating that you appreciate theirs.”
“The ability to see the situation as the other side sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of the most important skills a negotiator can possess.”
“As useful as looking for objective reality can be, it is ultimately the reality as each side sees it that constitutes the problem in a negotiation and opens the way to a solution.”
“The more extreme the opening positions and the smaller the concessions, the more time and effort it will take to discover whether or not agreement is possible.”
“If you want someone to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later.”
“The most powerful interests are basic human needs. In searching for the basic interests behind a declared position, look particularly for those bedrock concerns that motivate all people. If you can take care of such basic needs, you increase the chance both of reaching agreement and, if an agreement is reached, of the other side’s keeping to it. Basic human needs include: security, economic well-being, a sense of belonging, recognition, control over one’s life. As fundamental as they are, basic human needs are easy to overlook. In many negotiations, we tend to think that the only interest involved is money. Yet even in a negotiation over a monetary figure, such as the amount of alimony to be specified in a separation agreement, much more can be involved.”
My Take
Many years ago, when I was practicing law at a big Los Angeles law firm, I joined the other litigation attorneys from my firm for a one day seminar on negotiating at Pepperdine University. The skills that I learned that day were not only useful in my legal practice, but they were also invaluable in my personal life. We enter into negotiations all the time, whether it is buying a house or deciding where to have dinner or take a vacation. Getting to Yes was a very nice complement to the Pepperdine negotiating seminar. Not only do the authors show you how to negotiate, but they also explain why their proposed style is apt to work. I learned some new methods for negotiating and also reinforced some of the skills I learned at the seminar. A very useful book that I can unreservedly recommend.
