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28. Outlander

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  Jennifer Laser

Author:  Diana Gabaldon

Genre:  Historical Fiction, Fiction, Romance

Info:  896 pages, published July 26, 2005

Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

In 1945 with World War II over, former combat nurse Claire Randall is reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon in Scotland.  When she walks through a standing stone in an ancient circle, she is transported back to the year 1743 where she is a Sassenach, i.e. an “Outlander” in a Scotland torn by war and raiding border clans.  Claire uses her wits and medical know-how to survive in a land where the British are the enemies.  She finds herself hopelessly drawn to James Fraser, a heroic and handsome young Scots warrior, who faithfully loves Claire with an intense desire.  Claire is torn between faithfulness to a husband who hasn’t yet been born and longing for the man who embodies masculinity and devotion.

 

Quotes

“I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have.”

“Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone, I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One. I give ye my Spirit, ’til our Life shall be Done.”

“Ye werena the first lass I kissed,” he said softly. “But I swear you’ll be the last.”

“Oh, aye, Sassenach. I am your master . . . and you’re mine. Seems I canna possess your soul without losing my own.”

“And if your life is a suitable exchange for my honor, why is my honor not a suitable exchange for your life?”

“Where did you learn to kiss like that?” I said, a little breathless. He grinned and pulled me close again. “I said I was a virgin, not a monk,” he said, kissing me again. “If I find I need guidance, I’ll ask.”

“I had one last try.  “Does it bother you that I’m not a virgin?” He hesitated a moment before answering. “Well, no,” he said slowly, “so long as it doesna bother you that I am.” He grinned at my drop-jawed expression, and backed toward the door. “Reckon one of us should know what they’re doing,” he said. The door closed softly behind him; clearly the courtship was over.”

“I was crying for joy, my Sassenach,’ he said softly. He reached out slowly and took my face between his hands. “And thanking God that I have two hands. That I have two hands to hold you with. To serve you with, to love you with. Thanking God that I am a whole man still, because of you.”

“There comes a turning point in intense physical struggle where one abandons oneself to a profligate usage of strength and bodily resource, ignoring the costs until the struggle is over. Women find this point in childbirth; men in battle.”

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21.  Why Not Me

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:   

Author:  Mindy Kaling

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Memoir, Humor

Info:  240 pages, published September 15, 2015

Reading Format:  Audiobook

Summary 

In Why Not Me?, Kaling, writer and actor on “The Office” and “The Mindy Project,” shares a series of essays that provide hilarious details from her personal and professional life, from new friendships to beauty tips.  A follow up to her earlier Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, which is also very funny and covers her childhood and young adult years, Why Not Me? focuses on Kaling’s Hollywood career and adult personal life. 

 

Quotes

“Who is the beauty icon who inspires you most?  Is it Sophia Loren, Audrey Hepburn, Halle Berry?  Mine is Nofestreau because that vampire taught me my number one and number two favorite beauty tricks.  Avoid the sun at all costs and always try to appear shrouded in shadows.”

“People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you’re succeeding. People do not get scared when you’re failing. It calms them. But when you’re winning, it makes them feel like they’re losing or, worse yet, that maybe they should’ve tried to do something too, but now it’s too late. And since they didn’t, they want to stop you. You can’t let them.”

“the best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory.” 

“People don’t say “Give me your honest opinion” because they want an honest opinion. They say it because it’s rude to say “Please tell me I’m amazing.”

“People talk about confidence without ever bringing up hard work. That’s a mistake. I know I sound like some dour older spinster on Downton Abbey who has never felt a man’s touch and whose heart has turned to stone, but I don’t understand how you could have self-confidence if you don’t do the work… I have never, ever, ever, met a high confident person and successful person who is not what a movie would call a ‘workaholic.’ Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it.”

“Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn’t always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine.”

“As I got older, I got craftier and less obvious, but I’ve always put a lot of energy and effort into people liking me. That’s why I’ve never understood the compliment “effortless.” People love to say: “She just walked into the party, charming people with her effortless beauty.” I don’t understand that at all. What’s so wrong with effort, anyway? It means you care. What about the girl who “walked into the party, her determination to please apparent on her eager face”? Sure, she might seem a little crazy, and, yes, maybe everything she says sounds like conversation starters she found on a website, but at least she’s trying. Let’s give her a shot!” 

“I want to say one last thing, and it’s important. Though I am a generally happy person who feels comfortable in my skin, I do beat myself up because I am influenced by a societal pressure to be thin. All the time. I feel it the same way anybody who picks up a magazine and sees Keira Knightley’s elegantly bony shoulder blades poking out of a backless dress does. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen my shoulder blades once. Honestly, I’m dubious that any part of my body could be so sharp and firm as to be described as a “blade.” I feel it when I wake up in the morning and try on every single pair of my jeans and everything looks bad and I just want to go back to sleep. But my secret is: even though I wish I could be thin, and that I could have the ease of lifestyle that I associate with being thin, I don’t wish for it with all of my heart. Because my heart is reserved for way more important things.” 

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18. 365 Days of Thank You’s

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  N/A

Author:  John Kralick

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Memoir, Self-Improvement, Happiness

Info:  240 pages, published December 28, 2010

Format:  Book

Summary 

At the age of 53, John Kralik’s life was at a miserably low point.  He was 40 pounds overweight, his girlfriend had just broken up with him, he was living in a tiny apartment with inadequate heating and cooling, his law firm was failing, he was going through a painful second divorce, he had become estranged from his two older children and was afraid he might lose contact with his young daughter and all of his dreams–including becoming a judge, seemed hopelessly out of reach.  

Instead of lamenting his plight, John decided to find some way to be grateful for what he had rather than focus on what he didn’t.  Inspired by a beautiful, simple note his ex-girlfriend had sent to thank him for his Christmas gift, John thought he might find a way to feel grateful by writing thank-you notes. He set a goal of writing 365 thank-you notes in the coming year.  Every day, he began to hand write thank you notes, to his clients who paid their bills on time, to friends and relatives for gifts or kindnesses he’d received, to anyone else to whom he was appreciative.  Soon after sending his first notes, John noticed that good things started happening, from financial gain to friendship, from weight loss to inner peace.  Before long, his whole life turned around.  

Quotes

“One of the most comforting aspects of writing a thank-you note was that it produced a tangible product.  Although I was giving it away and not keeping a copy, I felt I had introduced something into the world that made a small positive difference.  A piece of paper that would most certainly have been thrown out had been turned into a concrete expression of gratitude to someone else — and would have a positive effect by reminding a person that they had touched me in a positive way.”

“Scott, Thank you for taking the time each morning to greet me in a friendly way.  It is also so wonderful to me that you took the time and trouble to remember my name.  In this day and age, few people make this effort, and fewer still do it in a way that feels sincere.  You do both.  It really makes a difference to me every day.”

“Life is very short.  You need to do what you think will make you happy.”

“Then I heard a voice: “Until you learn to be grateful for the things you have,” it said, “you will not receive the things you want.”

“If the voice I’d heard in the mountains had implied that I would get all that I wanted, it seemed, at least at this juncture, that it was a promise unfulfilled. Yet, by being thankful for what I had, I realized that I had everything I needed.”

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17. The Happiness of Pursuit: Finding the Quest That Will Bring Purpose to Your Life

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  

Author:  Chris Guillebeau

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Self-Improvement, Happiness

Info:  304 pages, published September 9, 2014

Format:  Book

Summary 

The Happiness of Pursuit is all about quests and the people who set them.  Chris Guillebeau, the author, became interested in quests when he set out to visit all of the countries in the world by age thirty-five.  The people and quests he profiles are fascinating and diverse:  exploration, athletics, artistic pursuits to name a few.  The “questers” profiled included a suburban mom pursuing a wildly ambitious culinary project, a DJ producing the world’s largest symphony, a young widower completing the tasks his wife would never accomplish, and a teenager crossing an entire ocean alone – as well as a do-it-yourselfer tackling M.I.T.’s computer-science course, a nerd turning himself into real-life James Bond, and scores of others writing themselves into the record books.  The Happiness of Pursuit also explores the connection between questing and long-term happiness, i.e. how going after something in a methodical way enhances our lives.

 

Quotes

“The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure.”

“Not everyone needs to believe in your dream, but you do.”

“a quest can bring purpose and meaning to your life,”

“Your comfort zone may be more like a cage you can’t escape from than a safe place you can retreat to.”

“Don’t just do something “fun.” Find a way to create structure around a project and build in a timeline.”

“What’s the difference between a hobby and a quest? You can stop thinking about a hobby, but a quest becomes a total fascination.”

“If you want to make every day an adventure, all you have to do is prioritize adventure. It has to become more important than routine.”

“The most important thing about art is to work. Nothing else matters except sitting down every day and trying.” So, too, for a quest. The most important thing is continuing to make progress.”

“A good plan allows for plenty of spontaneity and room for change – but without a plan at all, it’s difficult to work toward something significant over time.”

“Discontent is the first necessity of progress. —THOMAS A. EDISON”

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.”

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16.  Redeeming Love

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  Adrienne Bulinski

Author:  Francine Rivers

Genre:  Fiction, Historical Fiction, Christian, Romance

Info:  465 pages, published May 9, 2005

Format:  Book

Summary 

Redeeming Love a historical romance novel set in the 1850s Gold Rush in California.  The story is inspired by the Book of Hosea from the Bible.  Its central theme is the redeeming love of God towards sinners. Angel, the main character, is abandoned by her father and sold to a house of prostitution after her mother dies.  Angel hardens herself to survive and expects nothing from men but betrayal.  When she meets Michael Hosea, Angel’s life begins to change.   Michael obeys God’s call to marry Angel and to love her unconditionally. Slowly, day by day, he defies Angel’s every bitter expectation, until despite her resistance, her frozen heart begins to thaw.  

 

Quotes

“Love is the way back into Eden. It is the way back to life.”

“If you love me as you claim to, then you love her as well. She’s part of me. Do you understand? She’s part of my flesh and my life. When you say things against her, you say them against me. When you cut her, you cut me. Do you understand?”

“All the way back, she had imagined him gloating and taunting, rubbing her face in her own broken pride. Instead, he knelt before her and washed her dirty, blistered feet. Throat burning, she looked down at his dark head and struggled with the feelings rising in her. She waited for them to die away, but they wouldn’t.”

“He was never angry when she made mistakes. He complimented and encouraged her. He shared his own mishaps with a sense of humor that made her less annoyed with her own incompetence. He gave her hope that she could learn, and pride when she did.”

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15. The Girl on the Train

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  Heather Bohart

Author:  Paula Hawkins

Genre:  Fiction, Mystery, Suspense

Info:  395 pages, published January 13, 2015

Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

The Girl on the Train is psychological thriller told from the point of view of three women: Rachel, Anna, and Megan.  Rachel Watson is a 32-year-old alcoholic who frequently binges and has blackouts.  Rachel’s life has been in a downward tailspin since her divorce from Tom, who left her for another woman, Anna Watson. Tom and Anna are now married and have a baby daughter which exacerbates Rachel’s self-destructive tendencies, as it was her inability to conceive a child that began her spiral into alcoholism.  

Rachel’s drinking has caused her to lose her job, a fact which she hides from her roommate by taking the train into the city every day.  While the train slowly passes her old house, which is now occupied by Tom, Anna, and their daughter, Rachel begins watching an unknown, attractive couple who live a few houses away from Tom, and fantasizes about the couple’s perfect life together until Rachel sees the wife kissing another man.  

When the wife goes missing after Rachel experiences a drunken blackout, Rachel begins to question whether she bears any responsibility.  As Rachel inserts herself into Scott Hipwell’s life and the investigation into Megan’s disappearance, the story unfolds in unpredictable ways.

 

Quotes

“But I did become sadder, and sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them.”

“I’d never realized, not until the last year or two of my life, how shaming it is to be pitied.”

”let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers.”

“She must be very secure in herself, I suppose, in them, for it not to bother her, to walk where another woman has walked before.  She obviously doesn’t think of me as a threat. I think about Ted Hughes, moving Assia Wevill into the home he’d shared with Plath, of her wearing Sylvia’s clothes, brushing her hair with the same brush. I want to ring Anna up and remind her that Assia ended up with her head in the oven, just like Sylvia did.”

“I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts.  Who was it said that following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all.”

“How much better life must have been for jealous drunks before emails and texts and mobile phones, before all this electronica and the traces it leaves.”

“it’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to mourn for it.”

“Hollowness:  that I understand. I’m starting to believe that there isn’t anything you can do to fix it. That’s what I’ve taken from the therapy sessions: the holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mold yourself through the gaps.”

“The thing about being barren is that you’re not allowed to get away from it. Not when you’re in your thirties. My friends were having children, friends of friends were having children, pregnancy and birth and first birthday parties were everywhere. I was asked about it all the time. My mother, our friends, colleagues at work. When was it going to be my turn? At some point our childlessness became an acceptable topic of Sunday-lunch conversation, not just between Tom and me, but more generally. What we were trying, what we should be doing, do you really think you should be having a second glass of wine? I was still young, there was still plenty of time, but failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under, and I gave up hope.”

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13. Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  Adrienne Bulinkski

Author:  Sheryl Sandberg

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Self-Improvement, Memoir

Info:  387 pages, published March 11, 2013

Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

When published in 2013, Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg’s provocative call to action about women and power quickly became part of the zeitgeist and the subject of much discussion among professional women.  The book grew out of an electrifying TED talk Sandberg gave in 2010, which has been viewed nearly 2,000,000 times, in which she expressed her concern that progress for women in achieving major leadership positions had stalled.  In Lean In, Sandberg relates humorous personal anecdotes, personal lessons on confidence and leadership, and practical advice for women based on research, data, her own experiences, and the experiences of other women of all ages.  Lean In wrestles with the great questions of modern life and Sandberg’s message to women is don’t sell yourself short and give up before you even try.  

 

Quotes

“Done is better than perfect.”

“Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder.”

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

“I have never met a woman, or man, who stated emphatically, “Yes, I have it all.'” Because no matter what any of us has—and how grateful we are for what we have—no one has it all.” 

“Fortune does favor the bold and you’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t try.” 

“Women need to shift from thinking “I’m not ready to do that” to thinking “I want to do that- and I’ll learn by doing it.” 

“we compromise our career goals to make room for partners and children who may not even exist yet” 

“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.” (Harvard Business School definition of leadership)” 

“There is no perfect fit when you’re looking for the next big thing to do. You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit for you, rather than the other way around. The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.”

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7. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:   Angela Toppel

Author:  Stephen Covey

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Self-Improvement

Info:  380 pages, published August 15, 1989

Reading Format:  Audio Book

Summary

Steven Covey has devised a list of seven habits that will transform your life:

Habit 1 

Be Proactive.  This means taking responsibility for your life. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. One of the most important things you choose is what you say.

Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language–I can, I will, I prefer, etc. Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas–Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.  Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence.

They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern–things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.

Habit 2

Begin with the End in Mind.  Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint.

If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default.  Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world.

Habit 3

Put First Things First.  To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There’s no need to overextend yourself.  All it takes is realizing that it’s all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.  Habit 3 is where Habits 1 and 2 come together.  

It deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But that’s not all it’s about. Habit 3 is about life management as well–your purpose, values, roles, and priorities.  First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth.  If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities you established in Habit 2.

Habit 4

Think Win/Win.  Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying.

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:  Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments, Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others and an Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone.

Habit 5

Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.  If you’re like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely.

Habit 6

 Synergize.  Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems. But it doesn’t just happen on its own. It’s a process, and through that process, people bring all their personal experience and expertise to the table.

Together, they can produce far better results that they could individually.

Habit 7  

Sharpen the Saw.  Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of activities:

Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting, Social/Emotional:  Making social and meaningful connections with others, Mental:  Learning, reading, writing, and teaching, Spiritual:  Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or service.  As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish.

 

Quotes 

 “Start with the end in mind.”

“But how do you love when you don’t love?”

“If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself.”

“There’s no better way to inform and expand you mind on a regular basis than to get into the habit of reading good literature.”

“Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.”

“Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do).”

“The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person.”

“My friend , love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”

“When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.”

“But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise.”

“Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.”

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3. Purity

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  

Author:  Jonathan Franzen 

Genre:   Fiction

Info:  608 pages, published September 1, 2015

Format:   Audio Book

 

Summary 

Purity is the name of the book’s title character, who is also known as Pip.  When we first meet Pip she is living in a crowded Oakland house under the burden of colossal college debt. She soon becomes involved in “The Sunlight Project,” a WikiLeaks-style group headquartered in a South American rain forest that seeks to uncover secrets and expose them on the web.  

Run by the charismatic Andreas Wolf, who grew up in socialist East Germany, the Sunlight Project becomes the jumping-off point of discovery for Pip.  In addition to the main character, the book’s title Purity refers to the desired goal of every character.

Quotes

“Everyone thinks they have strict limits,” she said, “until they cross them.”

“There’s the imperative to keep secrets, and the imperative to have them known. How do you know that you’re a person, distinct from other people? By keeping certain things to yourself.”

“It’s like having one red sock in a load of white laundry. One red sock, and nothing is ever white again.”

“The world was overpopulated with talkers and underpopulated by listeners.”

“I’m starting to think paradise isn’t eternal contentment. It’s more like there’s something eternal about feeling contented. There’s no such thing as eternal life, because you’re never going to outrun time, but you can still escape time if you’re contented, because then time doesn’t matter.”

“The aim of the Internet and its associated technologies was to “liberate” humanity from the tasks—making things, learning things, remembering things—that had previously given meaning to life and thus had constituted life. Now it seemed as if the only task that meant anything was search-engine optimization.”

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1. Life After Life

Rating: ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:   Tina Hirshland

Author: Kate Atkinson

Genre: Fiction, Historical Fiction, World War II

Info: 560 pages, published March 14, 2013

Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

Every time Ursula Todd dies, she is born again. Each successive life is an iteration on the last, and we see how Ursula’s choices affect her, those around her, and the fate of the 20th-century world.

 

Quotes

“What if we had a chance to do it again and again, until we finally did get it right? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”

“He was born a politician.  No, Ursula thought, he was born a baby, like everyone else. And this is what he has chosen to become.”

“No point in thinking, you just have to get on with life. We only have one after all, we should try and do our best. We can never get it right, but we must try.”

“Do not tell secrets to those whose faith and silence you have not already tested.”

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